Derrière
by UnchartedHeart
Summary: After a small dispute with a jealous Secretary, Elena notices a change in her body and goes to Reno for help...of course he does...Reno style. For QueenAlla. M for Lang.


a/n: This is a Relena fic for QueenAlla! I hope you enjoy, which by the way, you all should check out her youtube videos. I did the other day and they are INCREDIBLE! And an extra thanks from The Sacred and Profane for suggesting the idea!

Playlist:: Like a Boss- The Lonely Island, Real World- Matchbox 20, Instigator-Kaci Brown, Bad Girl- Pussycat Dolls, Uncontrollable- Adrienne Bailon

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

Elena walked into the ShinRa Building, hand in hand with Reno. They had been dating for some time now and the blonde found everything falling into place to her advantage. As silly as Reno was, he was a very kind and affectionate boyfriend and they were still growing strong.

There was just one problem…the secretary on the first floor was extremely jealous. The woman had her eye on Reno for months and Elena finally confessed her feelings to Reno, ruining it for the secretary. It was nothing personal…especially when Reno had no feelings for the secretary anyway. Usually Elena would ignore the glares shot at her direction, but today was different. She let go of Reno's hand, causing the redhead to turn and look at her, confused.

" I need to speak with the secretary about the paperwork I sent in last week, I'll be right up there with you in a second, okay?" she explained, beginning to walk away. Reno nodded and waved as he continued his stride to the elevator, blowing her a kiss.

The blonde Turk approached the desk, immediately gathering the attention of the brunette secretary. The woman forced a smile and cocked her head to the side. Elena cleared her throat and touched the top of the wooden desk.

"Can I help you?" the woman asked, a snooty tone in her voice. Elena shot a glare at the woman before answering.

"Yes, my paperwork didn't reach Tseng on time last week because someone didn't deliver it." The blonde stated.

"Well, maybe you just forgot to turn them in."

"Or perhaps _you _didn't turn them in because you're still jealous about Reno and I dating…and since that is the case…you listen here." Elena began, pointing a well manicured finger at the woman. "I am in love with him, and he's had feelings for me for years. I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do about it, okay? If I find my paperwork not on Tseng's desk in time…I know who to go to…and dear? Remember. I'm a Turk, got it? I can make it look like an accident."

The woman sighed and nodded in defeat as she sulked in her chair. Elena smiled and waved as she left for the elevator.

"I hope you have as much confidence in your body as you do your job." The secretary called out. Her words confused Elena but she simply ignored the woman and brushed the comment off.

* * *

Elena walked out of the elevator and towards the Turk offices. The thing about the offices was, that the walkway had glass doors so you could see who was in the office, as well as a little of your reflection. While walking, the blonde looked at herself and suddenly stopped. Why did her butt look bigger than it had this morning? She turned at every angle, checking out the body part and wondering why she was seeing it as bigger. Soon, she realized that the walls were glass and everyone in the office could see what she was doing.

"S-Sorry!" she called out to the people in the office, blushing as she continued her way to her office. She opened the door to see Reno and Rude joking about something they had seen in the Turks lounge.

"And so I picked up the sugar packet and lined it up like a line of cocaine and when Cissnei turned around she looked at the line and then back at Tseng like he had done it! It was hilarious! You should've seen their faces!" Reno teased as he leaned back into his chair. He winked at Elena as she stalked over to the two. She turned to Reno and scowled.

"What's wrong, babe?" he asked.

"I…I think my butt has gotten bigger since this morning." She replied, turning to show him. Rude cleared his throat and returned to his paperwork. Reno sighed and shook his head.

"No…I don't see it, Laney, baby. It looks the same since this morning." he stated. Elena groaned and walked back to her desk and started on her own paperwork.

On the way to lunch, Elena walked past the glass doorways again, stealing a quick look at her butt once more. It looked even bigger! What was going on! There's no way it could've grown! She hadn't eaten anything! The blonde pushed through people as she ran into the elevator, catching up to the other Turks with a panicked expression.

"It's fucking huge!" she wailed, causing Tseng to furrow his brows at her question. He looked to Reno, who shrugged and approached Elena.

"What's huge? If you're talking about last night…babe, you already knew that." The redhead teased, receiving a glare from everyone in the elevator. Turning even more red, Elena felt tears come to her eyes.

"My ass is so huge, Reno, seriously! It's gotten twice as big since this morning! Tseng look at it! Rude! Somebody, tell me I'm not crazy!" she yelled, her voice wavering as tears fell from her eyes. Reno resisted the urge to roll his aqua hues and he pulled her into an embrace. Honestly, he had no clue what she was talking about, her butt looked completely normal so the blonde must have been seeing things.

After the awkward elevator ride, they all were eating lunch, Elena eating nothing in fear of her butt getting bigger. She sipped some water as Reno tried to down three cheeseburgers and four hotdogs in one sitting, making everyone who was watching him, disgusted.

"Reno, you should be the one with the bigger butt with how much you eat! Where does it all go?" she asked, taking another sip. Reno laughed and swallowed.

"Elena, for the billionth time, your butt isn't big. I don't know where you're getting all this from. Must be time for your period or something….oh and the answer to your question is…I get a good workout...I mean…you should know because you're the one hel-"

"Okay Reno! I get it! Shut up!" she stopped him, shifting her gaze to the secretary she had spoken to that morning. The woman was glaring at her with a smirk on her face. Then it hit her.

"That little bitch!"she yelled, causing Reno to almost choke on his final burger. He looked up at her with wide eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"That secretary! She's jealous of us being together and she said something weird to me this morning! It must be her! She's like a…a witch or something!" the blonde exclaimed, confusing the redhead even more. He scoffed and moved on to the hotdogs taking them out of their buns, and tossing the buns behind him as he squirted ketchup on the plate.

"You really have popped a lid! She's not a witch…but if you insist…why don't you go talk to her?" he suggested, getting ready to take a bite.

"I've got a better idea, why don't you talk to her…charm her into fixing me back!"

"Uh…I don't think so, babe…your butt looks fine, I'm trying eat right now!" Elena growled at this, standing up and slamming her cup of water on the table.

"All you want to do is play with wieners during lunch! You know, all that meat is bad for you!" Elena yelled at him, gesturing to his plain hotdogs before stomping off to the secretary. Reno rolled his eyes and stood up, walking casually over to the two women to stop a battle that was about to begin in the café.

* * *

"I can't believe you! You…you evil woman! How dare you cast a spell on me! I didn't do anything to you. It's not my fault he didn't have feelings for you and now I look like a fat ass every time I look in the mirror!" Elena yelled as she pointed a finger at the woman. Reno approached the scene just in time as he grabbed Elena and put her behind him as he leaned on the table the secretary was eating at.

"Listen up, Doll, my girlfriend here is obviously delusional today…but I care about her, so if you could…fix whatever you did to her so she'll stop whining please? If you do it for me, I'll set you up on the best date of your life." Reno suggested, flashing her a charming smile. Elena worried that Reno would offer himself for a date, but it didn't turn out that way at all.

"S-Sure Reno…sir…I'm sorry Elena…Your right, I have no right to get jealous. When you look in the mirror again and from now on, your backside will appear how it is." The secretary replied, feeling slightly ashamed. Elena tested out the woman's promise by running to the bathroom, coming back out in all smiles as she thanked the woman and ordered lunch.

"So…is this date going to be with another adorable employee, Reno?" the secretary asked, biting her lip. Reno laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, something like that, thanks a lot!" he replied, waving the woman off and returning to his girlfriend.

* * *

That night, the couple cuddled together in bed, watching Elena's favorite night time T.V show that Reno couldn't care less about. As long as the blonde was happy, so was he. She thanked him multiple times for helping her out that afternoon and he nodded, kissing her in reply.

"No problem, baby, remember though, your body is perfect, gorgeous even. I love everything about it. So don't fret." He reassured her. Elena smiled and kissed him back.

"So who did you set that girl on a date with? Rude? Tseng?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Someone much…better."

* * *

The secretary splashed a bit of perfume on her skin just as the doorbell rang. She straightened her red dress and approached the door. Oh, she was so excited to see who Reno had picked for her. Maybe it was the Wutaiian boss? Or the bald Turk who was so hot. She opened the door and her jaw dropped.

"Hello dear, my name is Hojo…are you ready to go?"

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! R&R please!


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